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Yearning for Love
No one wants to think of themselves as being a hateful person. We would much prefer to project to others and to ourselves an image of serenity - of happiness and joyous freedom. It is hard to keep up such appearances for long while suppressing anger.
It is impossible, in fact.
We are sometimes told to 'own' our feelings. This is misguided advice at best - a nefarious ruse at worst. While this may provide some temporary relief it ignores the source of our discomfort and we are soon besieged with anxiety and pains requiring either more "owning" sessions or else suppression. Suppression is God-separating and will ultimately kill.
It can be comforting, therefore, to realize that the poison of anger and the bitterness we can still experience is not ours to own. It belongs to something sinister - the not us. It enters when we respond improperly to pressures; to the cruel and unjust things around us. This is why we must remain vigil to them. Vigilance develops resiliency. Suppression turns us into victims.
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| The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us. |
Hate cannot be managed. It cannot be remedied by our own will or any will of any human being.
The best trained psychiatric minds and counselors in the world cannot remedy hate.
There is no human being on the face of the earth, whatever their worldly degrees, who can provide us a defense against the angry expression of internal hatred.
No matter how adamant they are about their "Anger Management" techniques all they can do is train a bitter man newer, sophisticated tricks to suppress.
These will always fail and can do great harm long term.
No matter how adamant they are about their "Anger Management" techniques all they can do is train a bitter man newer, sophisticated tricks to suppress.
These will always fail and can do great harm long term.
We can only yearn to be saved from resentment through humility and when we do so earnestly, we are.
Through meditation, we learn how to pproperlyresponded to internal thoughts and gain control over the stresses that come from the outside – not a self-control, but control never-the-less. We experience the loss of unmanageability that comes by a transferring our reliance upon our finite and flawed selves to an infinite and perfect divine source of power. Life becomes effortless and manageable - through a new Power that is not our own.
It is a Power that doesn't even originate within us but gains access through us - when we sit still for it.
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| Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. |
What of the terrible destructiveness that past stresses have had on us? A lifetime of cruelty - of "trespasses against us" - have already gotten inside; charging us with negative emotions, cropping up since the day we first drew breath.
The physic intruder that has pried open our inner sanctum penetrating the psyche has also crawled in to feed itself to an ago that hungers for hate.
The physic intruder that has pried open our inner sanctum penetrating the psyche has also crawled in to feed itself to an ago that hungers for hate.
For that, we can use a Fourth Step inventory. It's simple. It's rudimentary. It works. Such an undertaking is a start toward comprehending the futility and fatality of resentment but it's a crucial beginning for many alcoholics.
It is surely not optional for those seeking a spiritual awaking through the Twelve Step method.
It is surely not optional for those seeking a spiritual awaking through the Twelve Step method.
A completed Fourth Step inventory is a kickoff toward being free to love, which is to not hate. Tolerance, patience and good will toward all men, even our enemies begins and we can grow - if only we awaken and remain awakened.
Steps Four through Nine get the ball rolling. Ten has its abecedarian place. Eleven, especially it's call for consciousness-improving meditation, gives open access to the breath of life - our daily bread.
Peace and Love,
Danny S – RLRA
Real Live Recovered Alcoholic
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