How Sick Our Secrets?

No one gets away with agnosticism – being separated from God -  for long without the symptoms of this spiritual disease mounting. As they grow and evolve they cause some bedeviling problems many of which are enumerated on page fifty two of the magnificently spiritual "How To" book, "Alcoholics Anonymous". 


Sometimes I'll joke that wet or dry, the still spiritually diseased alcoholic could just as well abuse a ham sandwich as he could alcohol. 

That is because people have ‘obsessions’ we that we may never see – or bother to care about, since they do not inconvenience us - or until they upset us. In ourselves or in others; this is the case.

Some people are obsessed with their work. Others money, controlling people, volunteerism, sex - you name it; the list is long. Any of them can become converted from perfunctory and natural into behaviors that are self-centered, self-serving finally addictive. 

"Did we unjustifiably arouse jealousy, suspicion or bitterness?
Where were we at fault, what should we have done instead?"

Anything we do in order to gain undue sense of self-worth (pride); to “feel good", rather than for its ordinary purpose – in other words, ‘abused’ - eventually becomes an obsession. Unless the source of need for the compensating activity is removed, the behavior will never go away.

It may get switched around to other obsessive behaviors. Why do you think someone who quits smoking must turn to food; gains weight? Or why nicotine, caffeine and even sugar are the new substances of abuse  for so many ex-problem drinkers and former drug addicts? It isn't purely for the social benefits those drugs deliver-  I can tell you that!

Food, sex are only the chiefly visible ones.  Judgment, hating are some of the 'inner' ones. 

Eventually even these solutions become un-containable and begin to leak, creating problems in getting along with people. Even maintenance of  physical health gets more and more difficult as our bodies evolve and succumb to our self-inflicted, abusive obsessions. 

Most people maintain a more socially acceptable array of ‘secret’ obsessive behaviors. It is only when they become visible and affect how others see us (Usually in a poor light) does it ever dawn on us that maybe something about us is undesirable and maybe needs to change. (Or else we better hide it at the very least) But by then it is too late, we’re hooked.  

You have probably heard the expression, "I am as sick as my secrets". Perhaps now you can see how correct this adage is.

Just because someone has no flagrantly offensive obsessions do not think for a moment that they are not secretly managing some.  There is no such thing as as alcoholic who does not suppress anger.

Get to know someone intimately and you'll soon discover their secret obsessions. That's why the more self-centered a person is, the more difficulty they have establishing any enduring relationship with a mate.  Once their imperfections are revealed mounting bitterness overwhelms the 'pleasures'  of the partnership until someone finally 'runs away'. Eventually only sex is the glue and then finally even that won’t be enough to hold two people together. Someone has got to bolt.

Now you know the origins of the expression that "Tis absence, however, that makes the heart grow fonder". But you can also see that as Aesop observed that "Familiarity breeds contempt." 

"I would have the elements of a way of living
which answered all my problems. "

Agnosticism is not rare. Anytime we judge we are playing God – since there can only be One God, and it isn’t us, we are agnostic in that moment. 

In childhood, we start developing these obsessions as stress mounts and we are not shown how to deal with them in a spirituality healthy manner. 

Obsessions arise to compensate for the pain of the God separateness (agnosticism) which develops so early. 

Many of us have been severely traumatized and have been left with no adequate defense against what awaits us in the "Stream of Life" - the continuing onslaught of injustices. 

When overwhelmed in the stream, we become unable to make positive contribution to it and so others must suffer through our selfishness  - or else fail, as we have to suffer theirs. Most of us live unwittingly continuing to harm others while being harmed.

"Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time?
Or were we thinking of what we could do for
others, of what we could pack into the stream of life?"

Not showing us how to deal with life properly, in a spiritual manner, is the failing of our parents who themselves had been let down by their own parents. (Seeing that this is a legacy of horror passed down through us unwittingly is what opens up the door of forgiveness to us for “they know not what they do”) 

Food and sex obsessions both have their beginnings in childhood.  They are passed on from parent to child.  These are the toughest of all to conquer - usually the last to go too.  

The accounting principles of LIFO - standing for last in, first out - applies. It means that the most recently acquired obsessions are usually the first to be expelled through spiritual means. That is one of the reasons willful efforts to modify behaviors, the kind that is sold through secular psychologies and addictions counselors,  ultimately fail; they are always in opposition to spiritual principles such as this one. Even those which claim to be supportive to spiritual ideas will fail to provide the real solution.

"The idea that somehow, someday he will control and
enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every
abnormal drinker."

Whether it be judging others, stamp collecting or crack smoking – pornography, relationships, or pasta fazool  - the only way to be rid of the need for obsessive compensations for anything is to reunite with God.

Bummer, I know - but take heart. To the degree that a human being develops growing conscious contact with God do all of his subconscious, obsessive compensations fall away.  They just aren't needed anymore because there is no need for solutions which have no problems to solve. 

Them food and sex addictions, fixations to judging and dependencies upon reliance upon others? Fin!  

Peace and  Love,

Danny S – RLRA

Real Live Recovered Alcoholic

http://stepelevencomesalive.blogspot.com/