Meditation Role In Amends

We abuse our amends making work when instead of seeking to right wrong, we selfishly seek to forgive others - because it means that we are still playing God- yearning to feel the ‘pleasure’ of issuing "forgiveness" to those we have previously ‘condemned’.

Yearning now to “re-judge’ others as 'good' – just as surely as we had judged them ‘bad’ in the past, we only find temporary emotional elation. It overrides the internal strife with which we still suffer for not having truly 'repented' (Please overlook the religious parlance. It is perfect here) It is an ego stimulant. Either way we are STILL being D' Judge. This is still playing God. Nothing has changed other than the 'polarity of our judgment.' This IS what BIPOLAR disorder is really ALL ABOUT!!

It is still being judgmental. If you like Biblical references, some folks do; The original sin in the garden was not indulging in the knowledge of Evil alone. It was indulging in the knowledge of both good and evil. Playing God through such judgment. (God alone is judge. Not we humans)

By making amends from a still-selfishly motivated platform of existence we think that by now playing the role of the benevolent God - whereas previously we had acted as the condemning malevolent God that this time since we are bestowing love and goodness upon our subjects we will ourselves be forgiven. We now feel better about it? WRONG! It is still playing God and separation from Him for having played Him will still be internally manifested. The obsession-addiction cycle is not broken - not even dented. In fact I have seen it straighten in some cases. We can never find permanent relief this way. It is anti-spirituality.

Amends made prior to true repentance never works and that kind of repentance never works unless we are shown the (mis)deed that caused it, either through writing (4^th step inventory) or via awareness (meditation).

Peace and Love,

Danny S - RLRA
Real Live Recovered Alcoholic
http://recoveredalcoholic.blogspot.com